I completely agree — but if he has to ask, shouldn’t she have to say no if she really doesn’t want to? (And vice versa.)

Based on the account, it undoubtedly sounds like Ansari came on far too strong, but why didn’t she just say it straight: “No, I don’t want to do this” and/or leave? If she doesn’t say anything and then performs oral sex, isn’t that sending somewhat mixed signals?

When she finally did tell him via text that she’d been uncomfortable, he said he clearly misread the situation and apologized. Whether genuine or not, it seems significant because that was a private apology, not a PR move.